Visitor

Observer.
Watcher of the tides.
Roll in.
Roll out.

Satellite.
Traveling light.
Out in the cosmos amongst the stars.
She is the cosmic dust.
Viewing, watching; never stopping.
Keeper of the forgotten.
Seer of the secrets.
She can smell the memories.
She is the mistress of the quiet.
She's a floater, a drifter; beholder of the wind.
Orbiting outside.
When will she finally abide.

"Home"

It's hard to describe the feeling of coming back into the States after being on such an adventure.
Is it dread?  Is it fear?

I find that I currently feel most comfortable and capable with a 12 kilo pack on my back.  When I feel the fear and dread deep in the pit of my stomach, I feel the weight of the pack and know I've done this before.  I've navigated Indian train stations.  I have made my flight from Heathrow to Bangkok albeit I got on the wrong train in London and ended up in Reading.  I've ridden of the back of a scooter a top speed to narrowly make my ferry.  I found my way to a tiny Japanese village in the middle of nowhere at 10:00pm.
I always narrowly made it, but I did.  I made it.

I've come back to a car that has been sitting for six months.  Dust covered Burning Man bins in the back.  A bag with a few of my clothes...  Remnants of an old life.  It's like everything that was left in that car was a clue to life I had, the person I used to be.  Most things amused me, "Oh!  I remember these shoes!", but there's this distance between the girl who wore those shoes and me.

It's odd to not come back to a home, yet completely fitting.  I've become used to moving, problem solving, going...  I seem to feel best when in motion....
I have a plan...  A loose one.  One that involves journeying across this country.  Visiting family.  Meeting old friends.

I will settle down again, have a home...  But this need to go, this need to move; explore.  This need for adventure, growth, knowledge...  That, I hope will never fade.  That feeling of moving, flowing is now deep within my bones.  

I will listen to the stirring of the of the wind.  The call from the stars... and when it's time; I will follow.

Japanese women simply refuse to wear pants.

Pattered stockings, socks and lace.
Pigeon toed; teetering on their stilettos.
Funny gait.
Crooked legs.
Bows and pink.

Lee Bul (yesterday was the best day)

I came across an image of Lee Bul's work on tumblr a couple months ago.
...Tumblr is another blog site, much like this one, but entirely visual.  I've always been a collector of images (you should see how many art postcards I've bought in Japan).  My tumblr is my online collection of images.  http://starfox88.tumblr.com/  Anything that inspires me, is beautiful, edgy... artistic; I put up there.  It's my scrapbook.  Reference for work.  A tool.

So...  I came across A piece of Lee Bul's work one day.  This image of this magnificent hanging installation piece of mirrors, glass, beads, chain...  It hangs with painstaking attention to detail yet in a haphazard way.  It is absolutely stunning.

Yesterday, I had a day of absolute bliss in Tokyo.

My day began with Akihabara the anime headquarters of Tokyo.  Bright and colorful.  Each store has a blasting stereo system. I walked through teenage boys, adult men, and girls.  The action figure shops were packed.  Aisles and shelves busting with toys, stuffed anime characters... candy.  It is a complete anime playground.

I left Akihabara and took off to Ginza.  Ginza glitz.
Beautiful wide open promenade street with the likes of Prada and Chanel.  Quite the change from my anime play world.  I watched families stroll.  Watched the beautiful Japanese women...  Such class. I strolled with them and thought, "What's next!?"

I had heard that Roppongi Hills is quite the art district....  Got on the subway (I have mastered Tokyo's train system fyi, and I'm bragging here because this is no small feat)...  I emerge out of the subway to another very luxurious neighborhood.  Modern this time.  Glass buildings.
I begin to walk a bit and notice posters with this Lee Bul work that I had seen...  "Dear God!  Is she exhibiting somewhere!?"  I get all giddy and start pacing around to see, "Where!?  What gallery!?  Where is it!?"  I approach Mori Art Center.  They are exhibiting a whole retrospective of her work.
!!!!!!!
I'm trying to contain how excited I am and make my way to the museum.
I'm taken up in a super high speed elevator to the 52nd floor.  I buy a ticket for the exhibition that has a combined ticket for the "Tokyo City View" observation deck.

I'd like to mention here my somewhat new found love for installation art.  About three years ago I saw an Olafur Eliasson exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago.  I walked around fine mists of water with rainbows reflected in them.  Walked down a hall of only one particular frequency of yellow light that made myself and everyone else around me appear to be in black and white.  Walked into a room with a two story wall covered in moss.  It was explained how the beauty of this piece was to watch how the moss changed throughout the months.  Changing color, dying...  You were surrounded by the smell of moss.  I love art that is tactile.  Engaging.  Interactive.  Art that makes you use all senses.

Lee Bul.
I stepped into a universe of reflected light.  Mirrors and glass.  It was so beautiful.  So evocative...
...So beautiful in fact, that I was nearly brought to tears.  I've been moved by art before, but this was something else.
Her sculptures, clothing, hanging light pieces...  Her sketches, pen and ink drawings...  I have never been so in awe and so inspired.  Her strewn about broken glass, broken tiles...  look like God himself has thrown them down in creation of the universe.
I walked into a black cave she constructed.  I laughed with another Japanese couple as the sound of our footsteps made funny sound effects in the cave.

I love being IN the art!!  Being with it.  A part of it.

It simply is....                               is there for you...                                    to be taken in by.

Be absorbed by it!
I was completely blown away.

I walked out to the "Tokyo City View" observation deck.
Tokyo splayed before me... brilliant.
Just dusk, little lights below; reminiscent of Lee Bul's mirrors and glass.

I watched night fall on Tokyo.
Darkness fall and lights come on.  A city a buzz with life; energy.
Beauty reflected within the light.
Light against the dark.
Color against the grey.

Thank you, Tokyo.

Subway Train

Friday night 11:30pm; packed.
People push and squeeze to get in the car.
Push!!  Squeeze!!
I'm pushed to the back of the car.  Squeezed against the door.  My back to the door, I reach my hand out to the wall for support.
Little Japanese woman next to me.  In her twenties.
As the train moves, she makes no effort to hold her ground... hold her space.  She leans into me like a little rag doll.  It's like I have my arm around her.
The car shifts she leans the other way.  She looks to window and the world outside passing by.  Her face pressed to the glass of the door.
We come to a stop.  Doors open, our side.  The car is so crowded people can't get out.  We step out so people can get through.  I watch her as she stands outside the car waiting.  It's cold.
We come back in.
I try not to have my arm around her this time.
I think, somehow, it was comforting for the both of us.

Color

Always had an eye for color.  Always been in love with it.
Here is some color from my travels.

Robot Heart

Robot Heart is one of the best and most beloved artcars on the playa.  Yes, we're talking Burning Man. https://www.facebook.com/robotheartlove

The morning after the man burns, people often ride through the dust looking for one thing; a neon pink heart on the horizon.  If you see it; pedal fast.  It's like a secret passage way to a magical realm. You'll wondrously be reunited with friends that you thought for sure got lost in the dust... And be able to get your groove on to beats like this...

http://soundcloud.com/djbehrouzmusicdownload/behrouz-robot-heart-burning  <------please listen!!!
This set is just too damn good not to share.  I'm sure enjoying it ^-^

Heart Bot back in the day....  circa '09

Scoot Scoot

Woke up very early this morning for a  final scoot.
I wanted to see how the dawn hit the island.

Palm trees wiz past.  Sun filters through.  I feel like I'm flying.  Free as a bird.  The only one on the road.  I scoot up and down... round and round.  Feel the wind.  Go, go go!!!  Me and my yellow scooter.
Up to the North side.  Mountains in the distance look like latent volcanoes.  Beaches beyond.  Early dawn.  Thoughts run through my head.  Conversations I had a year ago, five years ago... memories.
Memories of you.  Memories of me.
Memories of who I am.
Laughter flows out of me.

moshi moshi

hello operator, please give me number nine.

Ladda Restaurant House & Motorbike For Rent

This little restaurant is right up the road from my bungalow.  There's a little family that runs it~ of course.  There's an older couple, their daughters, and a little boy who looks to be about five.  They run a little convenience grocery store that is adjoined to the restaurant.  Like most restaurants here, they specialize in renting motorbikes.
The older gentleman of the family, I'll call him Grandpa Ladda, does all the cooking.  He wears his blue slippers, has grey hair with a little bald spot on the top of his head, and spectacle like looking glasses.  He wears shirts that I'd like to classify as "Hawaiian" but "Tropical" will suffice.
I've noticed that everything the Thai's make takes about five minutes to prepare.  I also notice that the people working in these restaurants generally seem to chill until someone orders something.  They then pop up and and cook for about three to fives minutes and wham bam!!-------> amazing food!  A delicate mix of sweet, tangy, spicy.  Decorative cucumber always adorns your plate.  I have not had a bad meal here on this island.  Probably because the restaurants here are all family run with grandma and grandpa in the back throwin' it down like they have for the past forty years.
Grandpa Ladda is by far the best.  Perfectly spiced, perfectly seasoned, never bland.  Every order, every dish seems to bore the hell out of him, but man, he knows how to cook.

My Irish neighbor, Pete

is the epitome of a beach bum.  I say this with the utmost love, for he is charming.  Long sandy blond hair that slightly waves and curls.  You know, Sean Penn...  Fast Times At Ridgemont High.
Actually that's exactly what he looks like!!  Sean Penn, but the man.  And keepin' up that surfer style.
He's my bungalow neighbor.  I can hear a radio news show coming from his place at times.  For the relatively brief passing interactions we have, we seem to get in pretty rich conversation.  Our outlook on life.  On travel.  Yoga... yoga philosophy.  But that's travel right, no need for the mundane.

He thinks I've got my head on straight.  I think he's adorable.  

Midnight City

Midnight City  <----click this link to listen.  hell yes!!  shoegaze!!

M83.

I used to love them, and upon hearing them again, I still do.  Isn't amazing when you're teleported back to who you were 8 years ago?  It was me then, but I've changed.  And sometimes you can get back to the exact essence of who you were.  She's still there.  22.  Yes, I am that girl who is listening to her headphones far too loud in painting class. 
And I'm in love.
I could listen and stay here forever.

Beach Cruiser

Sunburnt.
My hands are always sticky.  Mango juice.  Mandarin seeds.  Pineapple juice down my arms.
Sticky handlebars.
I ride past Da and Ball's little restaurant.
Da calls out to me, "Michelle!!"
"I got a bicycle!"  I yell back.
"Yeah!"
I see her waving and laughing.

Conversation with my charming cab driver on the way to Paddington Station.

"Where you going, Love?"
"Bangkok"
"He's letting you go, huh?"
"Yes, I suppose he is."
"Why doesn't he go with ya?"
"Aw.  Because he's going to Brazil."
"So what was that there?  Your goodbye?  You guys are finished?"
"In a sense, I guess we are."
"Headed in opposite directions."
...
"You're going to Bangkok on your own?"
"Yes."
"I'm glad you're not my daughter."
"I just came from India!"
"Well, you just want to see the world don't 'cha?"
"Yes, I do."
"Always keep your wits about 'cha."
"I will, thank you"

NYE

Runs in the stockings.
Blurry gazes.
Thick legs.  Thin legs.  High heels.  Blood shot eyes.
Our hope.  Our hope all balled into one.
In the streets.  On the train.
Saying goodbye.
Saying hello.

Wrote this while waiting for my plane to London. Massive fog in Delhi. Fog like I have never before seen in my life. Plane left about 3 hours late...

Sitting in the Delhi airport.
It already feels like coming back into the Western world.  A store selling luggage.  Reebok.  "Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf"....  You can't even get an authentic Indian chai there.  It's hard to imagine a few days ago the train station in Haridwar.  Freezing.  Huddled with the others waiting for our painfully delayed train.  People putting down newspapers and sleeping on the cold, hard ground.

Varanasi.  Dirt streets.  Dust and smoke.
Leh, that magical moonland, feels like ages ago.  Another time.

....Headed to London.
Doesn't quite feel real.  Doesn't quite feel like I'm headed anywhere in particular.  I've gotten so used to waiting.  Sitting.  Reading and writing.  I could be waiting for a plane.  I could be waiting for a train.  I could be waiting for my coffee...
But I'm leaving India, and I can't believe it.  There have been amazing gifts and jewels, beyond anything I could have ever imagined or asked for.  It's amazing to realize magic still exists in this world.  And I saw it!!  I experienced it! 

thai sky.

Buoyancy

Free flowing, floating in the sea.
Bobbing on her surface like a buoy.  Adrift like a little piece of seaweed.
This sea that has no barriers, no boundaries, no borders.
We identify her different personalities.  Bay, gulf, strait.  It is the same salt water that laps to the North.  Laps to the South.  The same salt water as my tears.  We are a drop in the ocean; one with her tides.
She is the entity that forever embraces this earth.
This embryonic fluid.  This giver of life.
She connects all land.  She connects all of us.
Universal blue.