"Home"

It's hard to describe the feeling of coming back into the States after being on such an adventure.
Is it dread?  Is it fear?

I find that I currently feel most comfortable and capable with a 12 kilo pack on my back.  When I feel the fear and dread deep in the pit of my stomach, I feel the weight of the pack and know I've done this before.  I've navigated Indian train stations.  I have made my flight from Heathrow to Bangkok albeit I got on the wrong train in London and ended up in Reading.  I've ridden of the back of a scooter a top speed to narrowly make my ferry.  I found my way to a tiny Japanese village in the middle of nowhere at 10:00pm.
I always narrowly made it, but I did.  I made it.

I've come back to a car that has been sitting for six months.  Dust covered Burning Man bins in the back.  A bag with a few of my clothes...  Remnants of an old life.  It's like everything that was left in that car was a clue to life I had, the person I used to be.  Most things amused me, "Oh!  I remember these shoes!", but there's this distance between the girl who wore those shoes and me.

It's odd to not come back to a home, yet completely fitting.  I've become used to moving, problem solving, going...  I seem to feel best when in motion....
I have a plan...  A loose one.  One that involves journeying across this country.  Visiting family.  Meeting old friends.

I will settle down again, have a home...  But this need to go, this need to move; explore.  This need for adventure, growth, knowledge...  That, I hope will never fade.  That feeling of moving, flowing is now deep within my bones.  

I will listen to the stirring of the of the wind.  The call from the stars... and when it's time; I will follow.